Will Robinson is GO

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Rat 'Lympics 2008

New RPOz workshop localitare

That's right people, we have moved our workshop from Bloody Mary's Rats Nest to BBV's Rat Pad in Canberra's Inner North — it's a secret!



Sure, from little things, big things grow... but it's never too young to start them on beer ;)

The newest addition to the Rat Patrol toolbox!

You can thank me later Rats! And you can thank me with items that require the use of this hammer! Hahaha!!!

A Schloppy ride to welcome Schloppy!

The newest Rat, Schloppy Whaxoff writes:

"Funnily enough I managed to ride home, not sure how. Thanks for gutter searching though!

You guessed correct, the rat infestation didn't go down very well, bit of smoothing over to do there still. I hear a later 2am wake up call by some bag hunters was a part of the problem...

Thanks again, I will email some photos soon! There is evidence in there of Limp's attack from the tree...

Schloppy"

Yes, Rat Patrol Oz has done it again. It's a bit of a phenomenon. How else does a party in the 'burbs go from nearly over, to bursting at the seams with a drunken horde? You couldn't drive the horde, cause you're all too p!ssed. If you arrived in cabs you'd arrive in dribs and drabs. Aaah the humble bicycle and drinking go so well together. Just don't forget your bag and then go pounding on the door to get it back in the wee hours of the morning! And watch out for those low branches eh Limp?

T'was a memoriable ride characterised by Two Hump's mystery juice that both hydrated and dehydrated at the same time (awesome), multiple safety stops when Schloppy was too drunk to actually ride, trying to get a potential rat name in edgeways to the conversation, and gate crashing a number of parties along the way! Great naming!

Welcome Schloppy Whaxoff!

Impale This!

Nancy Porker's new ride loves to carve through pedestrians at high speed. The rider is protected by the Impala-esk handlebars, which deflect pedestrians out of the way.

She's a sleek machine, low, reduced reduced wind resistance so she's faaaast! Steering is fingerlight, and you can take your hands off the bars quite comfortably.


Additions yet to come - detachable granny kart backrest. Stubbie holder. BBQ attachment for the inverted drop-outs on the impaler section up front.

Helloooo Blogheads

Fark no-one's posted here for ages. There's lots of rides written up on the website http://rat-patrol.org/RPOz/rides.

Johnny Payphone (aka RPOz name: Harold Paytard) has been and gone.

We have a new Rat - Formally Known As Tom - who'll probably receive a name tonight at the Thermal party at the Rat's Nest.

Corinbank and Corinbomb have also been and gone. As has SummerRats 08, and a the invention of pedal powered dodgem bikes. Yep! They're pretty farken good.

We'll try and get some write ups and more regular stuff up here dear reader. Hold tight!

Nancy

Etiquette for Gentlemen

Do not assume too much for yourself and your family.

For the man who gives himself airs of importance only exhibits the credentials of his own insignificance.

On the other hand, if you've got wheels, pants, boots and a hat like that, you FARKEN ROCK!

Jeez...

It's been a while since anyone posted some sheet here...


Well, we did CorinBomb... that was super fun! Nobody got killed.


We did Melbourne for Charchie Brownfinger's 40th. That was fun. That was really fun!!

Crashed MGE off a vertical wall. That's right Gar'ah.

2Humpz got a girlfriend.

Yay! The new bikes coming along nicely (albeit a bit crooked in places.. but that’s rat patrol!). Taking inspiration from Jase’s swing bmx, I’ve adapted the swing idea chopper stylie.. oh and did I mention it looks tough?

It remains to be seen whether or not this creation is even rideable… I’m betting I’ll get the hang of it or at least break my other wrist trying. One really nice feature is the built in security system… anyone tries to steal this art piece from outside the pub.. I’m betting they won’t get far.

This might need to be taken into consideration of course given that reduced spatial acuity will most definitely be a foreseeable issue on pub rides… not that anyone in rat patrol rides drunk.. of course. I’m thinking of making some kind of pin to “turn off” the swing in times of “spatial uncertainty”.

This bike is going to be pretty evil (for a girls bike!) with paint substituted for black shaggy fur. Still some work to go... need a bottom bracket, and some reinforcements. I think I’ll call him G’mork… Aweee.

Bike Tech from the Frontier

As every rat knows, the only thing cooler than riding a bike you built is riding a bike you built with rad Gizmo's attached.

These can come in many forms, lights, horns, latex masks, flags etc.

Here's a bicycle noisemaker spoted in Chicago, probably owned and constucted by a Rat there.


It is constructed from old cyclometer magnets and pick up but has been wired into a 9v battery and then to the speakers. I will attempt to construct one, if all goes well, Rats may do less whooping and more drinking while riding.

KARMA!

That's right G'Ary! 4 wheel skid across Majura Ave. You can imagine my surprise and elation catching it out of the corner of my eye. I whipped the subie across two lanes and up the driveway. Got out of the car. Danced around in circles like a madman until the dude who's driveway I was in came out and asked what was going on, not with words, but with a dumbfounded look upon his face.

"Did you see who left this bike here?" I asked.

"Uurrgh.. no" was the reply.

I recounted the tale in broken English/insanity-speak as I stuffed Zed in the back of the car (which, for your future reference does not go neatly in the back of a Subie).

I drove to Limp's with the rear door fully up. A bunch of punk-@rse kids looked at me as I turned onto Phillip Ave with the tail up, going "wot's this idiot doing... does he know his boot's open?"

"Yes that's right kiddies" I yelled at the top of my lungs as I passed them and they looked in the back...

"ZED'S BACK!!!!!"



... to the lametards who thought it was a good idea to jump a rat... you're off the hook... this time!

Limp's welding tips for spaktards

Remember: Welding Masks are for pansies! I love the smell of burning cornea and gritty eyelids of uncomfort!

1.) set the welder correctly for your particular weld (power & wire
> speed): ask a good & experienced Rat Welder.
> - too much power = blowing holes, etc.
> - not enuff power = weld balling action; splatters; can't
> initiate weld bead; et-farken-cetra.
>
> - too fast = splattery shite; not enough heat therefore much
> wire trying to bond with cold metal.
> - too slow = burn back (wire heats up and makes everything go
> to shit).
>
> 2.) Know Your Welder: ours is bottom level and a bit damaged, so it
> (she!) needs love and understanding: get a tutorial from a good &
> experienced Rat Welder.
> - do only small amounts of welding at a time, and/or cool
> welder tip in an appropriate way (otherwise welder heats up and
> eventually seizes).
> - clean tip regularly (get a Rat Tutorial).
> - adjust spool tightness (loose is good, but if unravels
> you'll be spewing. Too loose, and it may create a short circuit with
> the earthed chasis)
> - wire feed adjustment: just leave it! (too loose and it
> don't grip da wire; too tight and it leaves bigger grooves in welding
> wire, which produces heaps more drag/friction when she gets pushed
> down the tube...).
> - be very careful not to stand on, twist, or excessively bend
> the feeder tube (rubber hose going to the handpiece).
>
> 3.) job preparation: all important!! Without all these thangs below,
> you won't get a decent weld.
> - place welder and/or job so the feeder tube has a relatively
> straight path.
> - make sure ALL dirt, paint and/or oil is not present at
> least 8mm from where you are gonna weld.
> - make sure you is gots a good contact with the earth clamp.
> - secure your job (ie. clamps or whatev).
> - setup a handpiece 'rest' from which you can easily do a
> slow, smooth, controlled welding movement (pass).
> - 'rehearse' the weld to make sure your 'rest' provides a
> good position for the whole welding pass BEFORE you start fucking up
> your never-to-be-the-same-again grinding job.
>
> 4.) Weld, but always keep feeding the wire NON-STOP until you reach
> the end of your pass. Some people can't help but freak out when the
> vicious sound of welding starts, which normally makes their hand move,
> and the welding job impossible... just think of Vienna. Relax.
>
> >>>>> Most peeps who get no satifaction aren't getting a slow, smooth
> welding pass; normally because they ain't prepared the handpiece rest
> or job properly. Or because they suck arse. Either way, the key is
>almost always a good setup - the welding only takes a second or three
>:)

The biggest of the four yelled at me...

"GIVE US YOUR WALLET, YOUR BIKE AND YOUR HELMET!!" he said.

"Are you fucking joking? Think about what you're doing, boys." Chris warned.

At 2.20am Chris was homebound from the Black Friday Rat Ride on Mouat and Brigalow, streets when the fun really started...

Chris was attacked by 4 cowardly lametards for his shiny black helm, his phone and my awsome chopper, Zed's Dead. In the end they got the chopper, but Chris fought back to retain his health, phone and helmet. They did manage to smash him very hard over the head a couple of times with a purpose built steel bar, cracked some ribs, and made off in their white Ford Laser with yellow and black NSW rego plates... we think they live somewhere around Lyham or O'Conner and we are following up some leads...

Who does shit like that???
Above: Chris's now-not-so-shiny helmet and the weapon he managed to take from the lametards.

The serious assault has been reported to the Police in great detail and they will be pursuing the matter further.

So, if you see the crappy car or Zed's Dead, please let us know, as we will also be pursuing the matter.
Zed... our agents are searching... :(
But as Johnny Payphone says: "Kill them with kindness". That's the only way.

Johnny Payphone possibly to visit Oz Rats & Corinbank

This just in from Chicago Rat Patrol:::
[Johnny]
Nic and all,

Great as always to hear from you. Your chapter seems to be exploding with activity and fun. This is rare, usually things fizzle out within the first year.

[Limp]
Some Rats are putting on an arts n' music festival for a couple of thousand peeps in Feb 2008. We think it's gonna be a cracker! Hopefully a bit Burning Manish. Mebbe you could ping some of your pics of interesting shit from BM (if u hav)?

[Johnny]
I could select a few things but you could browse a site like Flickr for hours and see all kinds of stuff. What are you thinking of? Bikes, musical installations, art, activities, dangerous contraptions to build? I leave in 20 days to go set up the city again. I'll be in the desert for 2 months.

[Limp]
Anyhows, we are smashing out our last critical Government grant application (which we all fucking LOATHE) just now, and had this magnificant idea: if things go well, we'd been keen to budget for your steamboat/plane/hyperdrive tickets, in order to secure a "performance" by way of... well... whatever, really... bike building workshop for da kiddies? Read some shit to the crowd on main stage? Something Rat Patrol? Wear a funny hat? Offer kisses? Interactive art exhibition (someone running drum making/playing workshops wants to rat-up a Bike Percussion Garden)? Play a set in between bands on the main stage? Get naked for da ladyeeez... I could go on, but thankfully time doesn't permit...

Of course, it would regretably mean you'd have to actually be somewhere at that time, but you would probably also need to come out a month or three beforehand for "aclimatisation" reasons, "orientation" purposes and because it'll be nice and warm here, with lots of nice people everywhere sucking clear air into there lungs and drinking cold proper-strength beers.

[Johnny]
Some ideas that come to mind:

-a talk on the cycle of bikes in the developing and first world. How to ship bikes and other used goods to needy recipients. How to found your own developing world charity.

-bike chopping boot camp, covering all the basic lessons of bike constructions. Think: Learning how to build pieces of a puzzle that could come together in infinite ways.

-all the fun games and sports we play in the states on bikes (local laws permitting)

-we could build a series of bikes to make a "ride": bumper bikes, racing chariots, spinbike battles, etc etc

I hope we can work something out.

-Johnny

'caa 'nay do it capt'n!

>>> This, from Chris:
It all actually started at work the next day when my eye became more and more irritated. Once home, I was ordered to the hospital, and once I waited my three hours I was led into the back rooms where upon examination, the nice nurse lady spied what turned out to be a chunk of metal jammed into my cornea. This didn't seem quite fair as whilst grinding, I WAS WEARING GOGGLES THE WHOLE TIME! So, who knows how that happened. Anyway, the nice nurse lady said that it had been in at least overnight as she observed some rust around it, and proceeded to have to pick it off my eyeball with a pin.You know that feeling of something being tugged from skin? Yeah, try seeing it at the same time. Anyway, it'll be my third trip back to the hospital tonight, there was more rust apparent on my second trip, and you can never be too cautious as I plan on using my sight to navigate my almost complete PowerTrike around the mean streets of town with the rest of the Rat Patrol.

So, for now, safe and happy travels all.
Steely-gazed Chris

>>> This from Limp:
I too, got no less than THREE hot, sharp bits of steel embedded in my eyes during the construction of Mitzie... each time at Emergency, they shook their collective pasty-white faces and lectured me about the virtues of wearing eye protection. At least I didn't work in a hospital.

So, what's the moral of the story here??

1.) Always wear goggles that are properly tightened so bits-o-shit don't get stuck in your eyes, innit.
2.) If you want to continue using the eye DON'T FUCK AROUND, go straight to Emergency!!!!! Stay there until they fix your eye.
3.) Don't work in a hospital.

Build Days at the Rat's Nest

There's been a flurry of activity since the moving of the PROz sheltered workshop to Bloody Mary and Dr Splat's Rat's Nest

This pic is of Nancy Porker contemplating design options of his new long-rider, and is courtesy of rat-in-waiting Ben.

Projects on the go by heaps of new rats-in-waiting include: 14yo Orion's Spin cycle; Chris's SIIK low-rider trike; Jez n Kiko's whatever; Ben's something or other; Steve's freaky creation; Jimi's chopper; and lord knows what else. FUK! That's a lot of action. Post pics up people!

Nancy Porker

A sideways bike and a scary mo'!!

Interesting idea... turning to the right doesn't look too practical!
He even has his own website

The way it should be!

Doin it 4 da Kiddies!

Let it not be said that Rat Patrol Oz doesn't do it 4 da Kiddies!

All this week at the Front Cafe and Gallery in Lyneham is an art exhibition by 8 - 12 year old kids titled "You'll never get here by car", inspired in part by Rat Patrol freakery. It's part of the Art of Moving project. Hats off to the Rats who went and met the young artists.

A number of us were at the opening last Friday night, and i gotta say, we were touched! Great to see so many creative young minds thinking about sustainability... and their first freakbike! Why be normal?!

Here's the flyer:

After the opening of the exhibition, budding Rat-to-be, George (who's been working on an alternator bike to recharge batteries and the like) played with muso partner Andi and a handful of others as the Andi and George band. BEST GIG I'VE SEEN IN THE 'BRA FOR AGES!! I wanna see you rock up at yer next gig with all yer gear on bikes George (don't tell me it's not possible... eytis has done it!)

:)

Happy Days!