Bike Tech from the Frontier

As every rat knows, the only thing cooler than riding a bike you built is riding a bike you built with rad Gizmo's attached.

These can come in many forms, lights, horns, latex masks, flags etc.

Here's a bicycle noisemaker spoted in Chicago, probably owned and constucted by a Rat there.


It is constructed from old cyclometer magnets and pick up but has been wired into a 9v battery and then to the speakers. I will attempt to construct one, if all goes well, Rats may do less whooping and more drinking while riding.

KARMA!

That's right G'Ary! 4 wheel skid across Majura Ave. You can imagine my surprise and elation catching it out of the corner of my eye. I whipped the subie across two lanes and up the driveway. Got out of the car. Danced around in circles like a madman until the dude who's driveway I was in came out and asked what was going on, not with words, but with a dumbfounded look upon his face.

"Did you see who left this bike here?" I asked.

"Uurrgh.. no" was the reply.

I recounted the tale in broken English/insanity-speak as I stuffed Zed in the back of the car (which, for your future reference does not go neatly in the back of a Subie).

I drove to Limp's with the rear door fully up. A bunch of punk-@rse kids looked at me as I turned onto Phillip Ave with the tail up, going "wot's this idiot doing... does he know his boot's open?"

"Yes that's right kiddies" I yelled at the top of my lungs as I passed them and they looked in the back...

"ZED'S BACK!!!!!"



... to the lametards who thought it was a good idea to jump a rat... you're off the hook... this time!

Limp's welding tips for spaktards

Remember: Welding Masks are for pansies! I love the smell of burning cornea and gritty eyelids of uncomfort!

1.) set the welder correctly for your particular weld (power & wire
> speed): ask a good & experienced Rat Welder.
> - too much power = blowing holes, etc.
> - not enuff power = weld balling action; splatters; can't
> initiate weld bead; et-farken-cetra.
>
> - too fast = splattery shite; not enough heat therefore much
> wire trying to bond with cold metal.
> - too slow = burn back (wire heats up and makes everything go
> to shit).
>
> 2.) Know Your Welder: ours is bottom level and a bit damaged, so it
> (she!) needs love and understanding: get a tutorial from a good &
> experienced Rat Welder.
> - do only small amounts of welding at a time, and/or cool
> welder tip in an appropriate way (otherwise welder heats up and
> eventually seizes).
> - clean tip regularly (get a Rat Tutorial).
> - adjust spool tightness (loose is good, but if unravels
> you'll be spewing. Too loose, and it may create a short circuit with
> the earthed chasis)
> - wire feed adjustment: just leave it! (too loose and it
> don't grip da wire; too tight and it leaves bigger grooves in welding
> wire, which produces heaps more drag/friction when she gets pushed
> down the tube...).
> - be very careful not to stand on, twist, or excessively bend
> the feeder tube (rubber hose going to the handpiece).
>
> 3.) job preparation: all important!! Without all these thangs below,
> you won't get a decent weld.
> - place welder and/or job so the feeder tube has a relatively
> straight path.
> - make sure ALL dirt, paint and/or oil is not present at
> least 8mm from where you are gonna weld.
> - make sure you is gots a good contact with the earth clamp.
> - secure your job (ie. clamps or whatev).
> - setup a handpiece 'rest' from which you can easily do a
> slow, smooth, controlled welding movement (pass).
> - 'rehearse' the weld to make sure your 'rest' provides a
> good position for the whole welding pass BEFORE you start fucking up
> your never-to-be-the-same-again grinding job.
>
> 4.) Weld, but always keep feeding the wire NON-STOP until you reach
> the end of your pass. Some people can't help but freak out when the
> vicious sound of welding starts, which normally makes their hand move,
> and the welding job impossible... just think of Vienna. Relax.
>
> >>>>> Most peeps who get no satifaction aren't getting a slow, smooth
> welding pass; normally because they ain't prepared the handpiece rest
> or job properly. Or because they suck arse. Either way, the key is
>almost always a good setup - the welding only takes a second or three
>:)

The biggest of the four yelled at me...

"GIVE US YOUR WALLET, YOUR BIKE AND YOUR HELMET!!" he said.

"Are you fucking joking? Think about what you're doing, boys." Chris warned.

At 2.20am Chris was homebound from the Black Friday Rat Ride on Mouat and Brigalow, streets when the fun really started...

Chris was attacked by 4 cowardly lametards for his shiny black helm, his phone and my awsome chopper, Zed's Dead. In the end they got the chopper, but Chris fought back to retain his health, phone and helmet. They did manage to smash him very hard over the head a couple of times with a purpose built steel bar, cracked some ribs, and made off in their white Ford Laser with yellow and black NSW rego plates... we think they live somewhere around Lyham or O'Conner and we are following up some leads...

Who does shit like that???
Above: Chris's now-not-so-shiny helmet and the weapon he managed to take from the lametards.

The serious assault has been reported to the Police in great detail and they will be pursuing the matter further.

So, if you see the crappy car or Zed's Dead, please let us know, as we will also be pursuing the matter.
Zed... our agents are searching... :(
But as Johnny Payphone says: "Kill them with kindness". That's the only way.

Johnny Payphone possibly to visit Oz Rats & Corinbank

This just in from Chicago Rat Patrol:::
[Johnny]
Nic and all,

Great as always to hear from you. Your chapter seems to be exploding with activity and fun. This is rare, usually things fizzle out within the first year.

[Limp]
Some Rats are putting on an arts n' music festival for a couple of thousand peeps in Feb 2008. We think it's gonna be a cracker! Hopefully a bit Burning Manish. Mebbe you could ping some of your pics of interesting shit from BM (if u hav)?

[Johnny]
I could select a few things but you could browse a site like Flickr for hours and see all kinds of stuff. What are you thinking of? Bikes, musical installations, art, activities, dangerous contraptions to build? I leave in 20 days to go set up the city again. I'll be in the desert for 2 months.

[Limp]
Anyhows, we are smashing out our last critical Government grant application (which we all fucking LOATHE) just now, and had this magnificant idea: if things go well, we'd been keen to budget for your steamboat/plane/hyperdrive tickets, in order to secure a "performance" by way of... well... whatever, really... bike building workshop for da kiddies? Read some shit to the crowd on main stage? Something Rat Patrol? Wear a funny hat? Offer kisses? Interactive art exhibition (someone running drum making/playing workshops wants to rat-up a Bike Percussion Garden)? Play a set in between bands on the main stage? Get naked for da ladyeeez... I could go on, but thankfully time doesn't permit...

Of course, it would regretably mean you'd have to actually be somewhere at that time, but you would probably also need to come out a month or three beforehand for "aclimatisation" reasons, "orientation" purposes and because it'll be nice and warm here, with lots of nice people everywhere sucking clear air into there lungs and drinking cold proper-strength beers.

[Johnny]
Some ideas that come to mind:

-a talk on the cycle of bikes in the developing and first world. How to ship bikes and other used goods to needy recipients. How to found your own developing world charity.

-bike chopping boot camp, covering all the basic lessons of bike constructions. Think: Learning how to build pieces of a puzzle that could come together in infinite ways.

-all the fun games and sports we play in the states on bikes (local laws permitting)

-we could build a series of bikes to make a "ride": bumper bikes, racing chariots, spinbike battles, etc etc

I hope we can work something out.

-Johnny